IMMIGRANT STRESSORS & LOSS.

IMMIGRATION STRESSORS

If you are an immigrant already in Canada, it is very likely that you will be facing stressors in a variety of areas: language, legal status, disadvantages in the work place, loss of status, discrimination, financial insecurity, problems of access to resources, lack of a community, yearning for family and home country, cultural dissonance, and possible histories of trauma during migration .

FINDING WORK

Nobody tells you of the “Canadian experience” bias, or how difficult it is to actually get hired or get a job at your actual level of expertise. There is a double-standard the becomes very apparent once you get here. Many immigrants find this “paying dues” humiliating and demeaning. Unfortunately, you are experiencing what many others have already experienced. It does not make it better to know this. My services can help you normalize this situation and overcome the emotional and professional obstacles it creates.

SUPPORT SYSTEMS

Lack of proper support networks, lack of familiarity with customs and conventions, finding ways to understand the different social customs and the very slow speed at which Canadians establish new social ties all have their emotional cost. These circumstances add up to the normal hardships of immigration and can get in the way of your happiness.

CULTURAL SHOCK

You came to Canada looking forward to the “world class” reputation and diversity of Toronto. Cultural relativity can be beneficial if you are familiar with multi-cultural environments, but often we come from places where we are familiar with the customs and communication patterns. Many individuals realize, once they arrive, that this diversity they were aspiring to enjoy can be confusing and challenging. As an immigrant myself who has been trained to work with other immigrants, you can feel comfortable and supported as you develop the skills and adapt yourself the this rich and amazing experience.

Psychotherapy that is informed about these complexities can help you feel better and navigate the transition into Canada with more chances of success.

LOSS & GRIEF

Immigrants suffer huge losses. Many times we do not have any other option but to “stuff” our loss and grief so we can succeed. We try to keep going despite having left behind lives, family, friends, our histories, a familiar language, familiar cultural conventions, and things like food, weather patterns and even music. We tend to be good campers, intent on succeeding, and may not realize that we are grieving.

Avoiding the grief and pain of these losses to keep going can make us suffer more.

It is disconcerting to have lost something that is right there, but which is no longer what it was when you left. It is strange to watch as the country you left changes from what is in your memory. You start to be a stranger in your own place of birth, and it feels contradictory and confusing.

Recognizing and processing the grief of these losses can be healing. It can give you room to connect in new ways with others that are also here like you. It can liberate you from feeling weird about connecting with people born here.

Psychotherapy that is informed about these contradictions and complexities can help you feel better and process your grief more effectively.

ULYSES SYNDROME

The combination of stress stemming from losses, the effort of settling in a new culture, financial insecurity, lack of support, and isolation can result in something called “Ulyses Syndrome”, a form of burnout specific to immigrants.

Psychotherapy that is informed about this condition can help you navigate it or avoid it.

CROSS-CULTURAL STRESSES

Ideally, cross-cultural communication can offer a refreshing and interesting experiences, other times you can get side-swiped by unexpected situations that test your capacity to engage with the complex Canadian experience. A supervisor from a culture that has completely different values can ruin your work. Missing social cues or misunderstanding them can be embarrassing and painful.

Being more open with speech or more direct than expected by others can bring surprising backlash. Other times you may be influenced by your own cultural expectations when facing the expectations of others. This leads to conflict or self-doubt. This creates conflict or misunderstandings that can make you feel confused and in despair. In more serious circumstances it can get you fired.

Aside from these common issues, the expectations from your cultural background and family background may affect your experience psychologically as well. Culture of origin affects what emotions one feels and how one expresses them, and to whom! Or how your body expresses distress or worry. Many times these cultural patterns are misunderstood by your partner, doctors or co-workers.

I am an immigrant. I have taken the time to take courses about the problems of immigrants, and train how to work with those problems. In your work with me, we can look at how you may have internalized these elements. We can then find ways of identifying the positive impact and avoid the negative ones.

Bringing these common problems to therapy can help you feel relief and get help facing the difficulties so you can solve the problems they cause.

I use my awareness and experience with a wide range of cultures to offer nuanced and sensitive therapy tailored to different cultural sensitivities.

CROSS-GENERATIONAL STRESSES

Sometimes, if you are an immigrant parent, it can be incredibly confusing to raise children that may be more Canadian than you. You may be straddling two cultures, but they are firmly planted here. It can complicate things.

This can generate feelings of pride and simultaneously be irritating or beffudling.

If you are dealing with elder family member who is more entrenched in your culture of origin, you may find that they are still thinking in the manner of their culture of origin. You will be placed in the strange position of feeling you are thinking like a foreigner, or neither there nor here. You may even feel rejected.

Once you start to pay attention to these patterns, you can learn to identify and understand the differences, make your exchanges more relaxing, and enjoy your interpersonal relationships.

A psychotherapist with training in working with immigrants and experience working with immigrant families can make a big difference. It makes sense to get the help you need.