ABOUT FEAR in the MIDST of CHANGE
Sometimes people come to counselling and psychotherapy because they have a strong sense that their lives are not what they could be but they are afraid to make changes. Some may feel trapped in a life that either does not feel authentic or is not challenging them to live up to their potential. Life may not feel true to their needs or their dreams, yet they are stuck with it.
You may be experiencing this feeling of being stuck right now!
If you feel you need to undergo a life change, you may not take action because you may be afraid and worrying about the future consequences on your life.
The smarter you are, the more problems you may see in the change, because our minds evolved to consider negative outcomes. Maybe you are afraid or suffer from excessive anxiety. Maybe you feel tender and vulnerable.
You may find yourself among those who know they need to do something yet they feel they do not know what the necessary changes are to feel happier or to enjoy their lives more.
You might know you need to tweak something and you may not know how or might be afraid to try changing anything.
You may be afraid to make others unhappy so you end staying unhappy yourself.
These are not easy feelings to have! It is difficult to be stuck in a place where you know it is not right for you but you may be scared of taking the next steps.
Sometimes we live like “good campers” doing what we think is right, and it still has not led us to the life we need!
It is also difficult to have feelings of living below your potential, which will erode your well-being and self image.
For others, it is the belief that you are in control and things may become unraveled so you do your best to avoid losing control. You may be cozily stuck thinking that life is stable enough and you might not want to rock the boat and destabilize it.
Change is one of the few things we can be sure about. Avoiding change is avoiding the inevitable. Thinking that you can avoid change is a fantasy and not accurate.
Even as we speak you are a bit older than when you started reading this! Even stability changes us and our minds.
I find that fear is the main enemy of positive change: fear of consequences or not knowing if your are making the right move.
Fear is a common feeling among us humans, especially when we have it good enough that we may not want to ruin what conditions we have. Fear can stop us from taking the steps we need to take.
Once you stop believing your fear, things start to move.
In my counselling and psychotherapy work, I help my clients face their fear, correct beliefs of thinking they can read the future, and uncover their source of courage.
It is interesting to witness the internal changes that people undergo once they start shifting. It is awesome to see how despite feeling afraid, once you start shifting, it becomes easier and easier to deal with the fear.
It is amazing to see the world and opportunities unfold in your favor once you start moving and decide on a direction. It is almost magical how the paths and circumstances will adjust to make it possible!
Once you take the first steps, the world will unfold for you in synchronicity. You will begin to see the opportunities that were there for you!
This will happen when you deal with the fear.
You may want to work with me or some other counselling professional, psychotherapist or coach to set your fear aside, and start taking small steps towards the life you want.
Maybe I can help you stop feeling like you are watching your life go by!
I found this great chat about fear and fearlessness by world renowned Buddhist abbot Pema Chodron. It is short and intensely wise. I hope it inspires you.
I have read many of Pema Chodron’s books and watched many of her videos and find them always inspiring and useful. Sometimes I need to pause the video to absorb everything. I suggest you go at your own pace.
You can find other talks about fear by Pema Chodron in many other sources, including Youtube. Your local library might even have some recordings you can borrow or download.
I hope this is useful for your journey. Enjoy!